The proverbial road less traveled

I've been down this road once or twice,
traveling to and from I do not know where.

Looking to the future, with nothing to been seen,
glimmer of hope is no longer there.

In a moment when all is upside down,
I realized I was not doing this for me.

To say I have started a weight loss journey at least once or twice in my life is a complete understatement.  Its been a struggle from the moment I noticed people's body shapes are different - and mine was always a bit larger.  Even then it wasn't so much as being fat, just curves - curves which I wish I had instead of a shapeless body that I no longer recognize

I did this almost two years ago.  I was successful for a while.  In fact, for about a year I was successful.  Then I just stopped.  Well, I shouldn't say that I stopped, because I honestly didn't - it was always on my mind.  Constantly.  The only way I could stop from obsessing was the very thing that got me to where I was - food.  In the beginning it wasn't too bad, but as of recently I'm back to using food as my coping mechanism - and I don't want to go back there.  I should never have allowed it to self sooth me a year ago anyways.  Any who, I am just glad that I realized this before it got too bad.

I have gained some of the weight back that I lost - but not all of it - thank goodness.  I think the moment I realized that I was heading back to where I was, when some of the summer clothes I bought last year (because the previous years was too big) was starting to feel a little tighter than they did last summer.

So in an attempt to start over, versus pick up where I left off, I decided to start a new blog.  I am more than just someone trying to lose weight, and find her identify - which is what my old blog seemed to portray.  Becoming healthy and skinny is not going to create inner peace - I don't know what will, but I do know that will not be the key to finding my inner peace.